Education....

I want to share about education. It has been a very deep roots of education in me, my family, relatives eventually my Father, Grandma and cousins and aunts. I always have been very interested in education for many years even though I was deaf and it should mean to the community that I could not learn or have chance to write or communicate. It was a pretty frustrating childhood for me in the community as homschooling. Education system in the Twelve Tribes was very poor and weak and hard to be able to gather all kind of subjects to learn as educational opportunities for the children. The children were not really given much opportunity with education. They do not believe that the children really need much knowledge of educations that we, the parents and people who joined in the community had in public schools and colleges, etc. The children do not have high school education, just up to 8th grades, almost similar to Amish Community with school system. There are pretty good laws in United States over Education for the children and the Twelve Tribes do not follow it. They believed that Education could have fulfilling the dreams in children for outside the community such geography, American History, Government History, World Civilization, Biology/Science and pretty much other subjects that children could have gotten the rich experiences in education. I just wished I got it all and went to Deaf school during my childhood. It was just like a dream that has comes true for me to enter in University. Today, many children left the community are struggling with their education in public/private schools and Colleges and some have quit/drop out. I blamed the Twelve Tribes for poor provision on education for the children who were raised and are raising in the community. I just wished that they do something to provide the best for the children, but sadly the community use the children as child labors to make for living for the community with house, bills and foods. The foods were poorly provided everyday to everyone and children in the community. I could not believe how much I have gone through for 21 years in the community. How much things have happened in my life, it could be very frustrating, traumatic, depressions, oppressions, treat the children like they are worthless and not loved. I have always been going through a lot of painful experiences growing up in the Twelve Tribes, not only the most painful, I have some positive experiences, such as my lovely family with 4 sisters and two brothers in my family as I am the oldest. They were close family together. My father is smart and have a lot of talents in him and he has provided a lot of intelligence in my family which I was proud of this, to show how smart I am and as growing up, I was always a good rebellious youth.
As talking about education! I had to take GED to enter in college. I have always dreamed of go to Gallaudet University, the World’s Most Liberal Art Education for the Deaf University. It has came true that I entered in Gallaudet University in Fall 2000. Before talking about go to Gallaudet University. My Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor sent me to a small program school that calls “Professional Learning Center” I started went to that school, it was not a great place to attend because all students were low function, and not very smart students and have a lot of patient to work with. I was just going there to take my GED. I started in January 2000 and it was overwhelming for me at first because I am new to the school system totally different from growing up at homeschool in the community. I stayed there for 7 months and it was not always successful there because the people that work there are Jehovah’s Witness. I felt that I am in other cult group. What a strange feeling that I was there, but it was a learning experience for me and I do not completely reject them for their religious belief. More to come on Education on next blog.

Newburgh, New York......

I was staying with Bill and Maggie Mehr at their house. They have 4 lovely children. I have known this family for many years. They used to live in the community in Island Pond at Arbor House with my family. Bill and Maggie were close friends with my parents and family. Bill knows a lot about me and he knows what I will be happy/success with the future. He knows all the pain that I have suffered in the community. I was staying at Bill's house and I do not have any money or anything to start with. It was little bit scarce and not sure what will happen. Bill was doing all works for me and explained to me about many things that I have to face in real world. How to cope being around people who are different, have their own opinions and watching television, being on computer and using internet, and how to dress and accept the foods that they use. Totally different experiences than the experiences in the community. I tend to be go by with judgment and go with what I need to believe and follow the truth in my heart, but somehow I was immersed into things that go on in daily life outside the community. It was hard and scared at first but I became more and more comfortable with what I was doing and trying to get into my life and be determine for the future. Bill has helped me get in Social Security Income and went to meet with the State Vocational Rehabiliation Counselor to see about assisting me with education and job. Few days after I left the community, I have met with VR Counselor and she was shock about my life experience in the community. She was willing to do all things to get me started. I was very excited and looked forward to it. I eventually started go to school in January, 2 months later after left the community. I was visiting several ex-members, some relatives and friends during the Holidays. It was little bit difficult because I did not have the money to do things but I got some pretty enough to start with. They were very supportive of me and were happy that I left the community. Bill and Maggie were supportive of me and they can sign in sign language to communicate with me and it was easy to communicate which I was grateful for.

The Day I was Leaving.....

The day I was leaving the community was scared and happy but emotional and confused. I was somewhat lost and not sure what will happen next, and next then there. I was packing my stuffs and left behind a lot of my things. I only get my backpack with some value and important things and I had some left in the Cafe's basement. I was walking out of the house, White House... And few people came to me and talked to me. They tried to encourage me to change my mid that told me that I am to represent for the Deaf people in the world to join in the community. I have doubt that. I no longer want to think about it. I was walking down the street to downtown. My father was following me and sure enough, he was upset and depressed. He knew that he can't stop me and he was trying so hard to convince me in all of his power to have my mind changed and to change. I explained to him all of these things I have suffered in the past in the community. My father said he felt it was his responsible about how he was raising me in the community. I was having tears in my eyes but I know that I need to go on with my life and see where the reality I have longed for many years to come into realistic. I kept wondering what will happen to Yohannah and Shoshannah. I feared so much what will happen to them. I was kindly offered my help to their father to take the girls with me and I will do all things to make sure the girls are safe and happy, but it did not happen. I wondered for the whole time what is and will go to happen to the girls. I was walking away and Dad was leaving me alone and walked away and he was not happy about it. I just walked and I was trying to figure what to do. I have a nice thought, I know someone in the town name Billy. He used to live in the community but left for years. I knew that he was willing to do what I need. I walked to his house and knocked. He was there and I asked him if he is willing to help me to call Bill Mehr. He was calling Bill Mehr and his wife answered and was saying that Bill Mehr was in New Hamsphire visiting with Dante and Janet. I was thrilled and Bill said he was waiting to get and pick me up to leave the community. I was very relieved. I waited for an hour till Bill arrives. When Bill arrived, he was talking to Billy for few hours and then took me and went to get my things and left to go on highway off to his house in Newburgh, New York. I was scared and very happy to see Bill and I felt so comfortable that people were so willing to help me whenever I need and to have new life. Bill and I arrived after late midnight to his house and we started talk about what has happened with me and the girls and the community. I was so freak scared and He asked me what I wanted to do. I told him that I wanted to go college and get education and have new life. I was very determine to set this goals and I do not want it to stop me or I would falling to go back to the community where life is pretty miserable in the community. I can tell that day was the Day of happiness and scared. But I made it through and I know that I had supports which were important for me.

Bellows Falls, Vermont

After that I was in locked in the room, my Dad came to visit from Coxsackie, New York. I was living alone in Bellows Falls since I was an adult and on my own. My Dad was convincing me to change my mind and told me all that I need to repent and change my heart. It really annoyed me and he pressured me so much the whole time. It was really hard and I had a lot of anger inside myself. I no longer tolerate this and no longer want to go on with my life in the community. I was very determine to have education and new life outside the community. It was so hard for me........ There the next day, I was in the meeting with elders and Yohannah, Shoshannah and our Dads. It was very emotional and hard... They have questioned us about why we did this and why we wanted to leave, and all kind of questions. At the end, I became more frustrated and more anger. The girls were very nice and supportive of me. They have been already determine to leave and no doubts. I had no doubts. I was so Ready.... Why the earth elders tried to stop me and change my mind? I do not understand.... Are they being selfish? Avoid to look bad on them? Well, I did make them LOOK BAD!! How??? I stood up in the meeting and accused them for being abusive and manipulation the Children in the community. Our children have suffered and it is enough. I yelled at them that the girls (Shoshannah and Yohannah) were severely abused and I have done all my best to protect them and befriend with them. I know they love and appreciate me very much. The girls were smiling and said "Yes, you are RIGHT! I agree with you." I was become stronger and I was very tough about this. The elders were looking scared and not know what to do or to say. I have said I am leaving. They told me, you can go, but you cannot talk or call anyone, but your parents only! I laughed so hard, they think they can control me even I am not in the community anymore.

More about me..................

Hi you all, good evening! It is Tuesday, October 24. Don't you all have a good day? It is okay for me, got tired and took a good nap at work hehehe...... Ok enough about this... Let me talk about what I just started the other day. Oh the end, of children who were pretty severely abused by the elders. By the way, let me talk about the Corder's girls, Yohannah and Shosannah Corder, daughters of Tsehiyah and Salem. They are wonderful and great people that I admired so much! The family moved to Bellows Falls from Missouri because they needed help with the children. I have became very good friends with that family, especially Yohannah and we been working together in the Cafe. We have a lot of struggling in our lives with understanding and faith. I have admired Yohannah for her bravery and stand to her understanding what she is going through and tried so hard to please her parents and authority of the community. Not just that I am attracted to her but our friendship has been strong and stronger by the days we worked together. Really, to be honest, I miss her and have not be able to talk to her in 6 years after we left the community. I just had so much on my mind about the past that we, children all struggled with so much oppressing, judgments and unhappiness with the Twelve Tribes. I have clearly remember the night that Yohannah, Shoshannah and I and few other friends have secretly desired to leave the community and have new life. The girls were tough and brave and not afraid, I came to be stronger and assertive about myself and my decision about leaving the community. I left the community in October 10, 1999 that mean it is 7 years already. Oh my God! What?? I have already been out of the community for 7 years, it has not been on my thought till now that I just am writing this story about my experience living in the Twelve Tribes. The day I was planning to leave, I called my dearest friend, Bill Mehr and asked him to come get me because I decided in my life that it was time for me to get out of the community and have new life and to achieve my dreams. It was scarce about the decision to leave, but it was sure enough that I have several people, like Yohannah and Shoshannah and Bill to support me and we support each other. It was awesome feeling! Oh my eyes are in tears................... I already have packed and was putting things to hide behind somewhere. I was really ready, so determine to be ready but at same time scared. That day, as my biggest step for the real changes to happen, I was working in the cafe and I was in the middle of lunch rush and very busy with lunch rush at the cafe, there were pretty intense and crisis happened that Yohannah has already left and ran away but was pretty caught by her Dad. She was brought back to the community. She was in trouble and had a meeting, she confessed that I was about to leave. I was interrupted in middle of the lunch rush by an elder and was taken out of the lunch rush to have a talk with me. He asked "did you drink the blood of the cup?" I replied back with my face expression and said "I do not believe I have and I know what is right thing." He told me to go home and be in my room and lay in the bed. I was like, I am not a kid. I am a man! I was outraged with the way I was treated. I ended up went home and was locked up in my room. It was miserable feeling but I was determined to leave the community. More to come.. It should be more interesting the next time I writing........ Watch it out please and PLEASE WRITE THE COMMENTS for me, I want to hear from you all. Thanks and Good night...

Who am I?

Want to know about me??? Yes? or No? Haha ok, there............ About me! Hmmm................ Why should I share about myself? Well, I am John Post, my parents are John and Elizabeth Post (Community name are Ayil and Drorah). They have been living in the Twelve Tribes for over 30 years and they are remain loyal to the community for many years. My parents have 3 boys and 4 girls that we all grew up in the community. Life as a family was beautiful and joy! And as we getting older, things have been changed! We were living in Island Pond, Vermont for many years and just grew up as a family and kids were growing up, just like normal traditional families are supposed to be, but under the community lifestyle is totally different than the American Tradition Family. As I became teenager, there were pretty intense going on in the Twelve Tribes, more criticize over parents handling the children who are just teenagers and their peer pressures and their selfishness over their desires of their lives as teenagers and what the Twelve Tribes could not provide for them. As I was a teenager, I was in a transition of rebellious because I am the only deaf person in the community where I have been ignored for so many years as isolation and no understanding of others about how to communicate with me in sign language and I was left out in homeschool as individual with one teacher and not with classmates as my age in one-room schoolhouse. It was miserable life experiences for me but I did not let it stop me because I was a good rebellious boy that fought so hard to prove how I deserve it and how I need to be understood about my feeling, my anger, my frustration and my desperate for communications. It has been ignored by the elders and leaders of the community. I have already expressed myself to my parents and my parents said they understand and do have the pain of feeling for me but they could not do it because they must ask the permission from elders for the decision making over my life and what is the best for me. I could not stand to this, it was just unbearable to live like this. I had growing up as whole teenager in the community and was trying so hard to please the authority and my parents. I grew to become more and more frustrating and I had questioned the authority and God. How I have been trained and given to be taught that I should serve Jesus Christ with all of my heart. I just could no longer go on and I was baptized and felt stronger and stronger in my faith and in God. Then, as I came to became older and older, in 19, 20th years old. I had became more doubts about the rules, authorities and religious beliefs in the Twelve Tribes. I no longer come to believe the life that God has been given to us. I came to question and prayed to God about the inner truth of my heart. I found that I was living in society in the Twelve Tribes where I was oppressed. I did not like it and I decided to take a big step in my life to leave the Twelve Tribes in 1999 because I was angry with the way I was mistreated, my family was mistreated, children were becoming mistreated, abused and all kind of misjudgment against the youth, young adults. I felt it was so wrong and overwhelming, parents no longer have control over the children and the elders and leaders became more mean and meaner toward the children and youth. I hated it so much that I cried with my eyes in tears felt sorry for the children younger than me, and I was going through the same things they have went through. I hated it so much! I felt that it was not God's way to treat us like this. More to come........................................

Introduction.......

Hi, my name is John Post. I started this blog because I am interested to attract the people from the Twelve Tribes Community, former members and curiosity. I believe this blog will help everyone have different understandings what the experiences living in the Twelve Tribes are like. I want to have this as an opening discussions about different issues that we have faced in our lives from living in the Twelve Tribes positive and negative. I have wanted to start this for so many reasons. There is group in yahoo group for Ex-TT and it is dead and I thought this blog would be different and interesting because yahoo group is limited for everyone to share their perspectives.